The Weight of Air by Kimberly Duffy

 Mabel MacGinnis' mother is a petite aerialist but her father is a mighty strongman in a Euopean circus in the early 1900's.  Although Mabel adores her mother, she takes after her father and by the time she is 10 years old it is clear she won't be a trapeze artist like her mom.  Her mother leaves Europe to visit her own mother in United States and never returns, so Mabel trains with her father and they develop a successful act as a strong duo. Then Mabel's father dies. Mabel decides to search for her long lost mother in the United States and her best friend, Jake Cunningham. Since they are of similar age, they decide they must wed as they travel to preserve Mabel's character, but it is a marriage in name only.  Once in the US they plan to find Mabel's mother, and then get an annulment so Jake can return to his family in Kansas. It doesn't work that way.  They get sucked into the circus life again in New York, and when Mabel does find her mother, she learns more about her parents and their past than she ever wanted to face. Can Jake leave his best friend right when she is so emotionally vulnerable?  Are they really, "just friends" anymore?

This story started out promising.  I thought the relationships of Mabel and her father, Mabel and Jake, and Mabel with her mother were all interesting and authentic. They all had demons in their past that got in the way of healthy relationships but they were trying to work through them.  About 3/4 of the way through I began to feel tired of the story.  The pacing slowed down and the story devolved into one uncomfortable conversation after another. By the end I was pretty dissatisfied, and the final resolution didn't help any. Since finishing the book I tried to think of what it was that I didn't like, and I realized the book was a feminist wish-fulfillment fantasy.  Mabel starts out very insecure and dependent on men.  By the end she has all of New York admiring her beauty, she is physically stronger than any man, and her love interest decides she is so wonderful he will give up his own plans and stay in a lifestyle he doesn't really like so she can keep her career. Mabel, herself, never considers giving up any of her plans for him.  With her it is "my way or the highway."  I decided that I would have liked the story much better if they were both willing to sacrifice for each other.  It was very one-sided and I felt that if it were a real relationship, the chance of them splitting up and getting divorced later was high. The author needs to go back and read the old story of "The Gift of the Magi" by O Henry. For a relationship to work, both members of the couple need to put the other first. (2023, 400 p.)